


A Flower A Day | Bokuaka AU

by anneil



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Angst, Fanfiction, Florists, Fluff and Angst, Hallucinations, M/M, Manga & Anime, Mental Health Issues, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneil/pseuds/anneil
Summary: Akaashi Keiji is a florist and he has recently got a job in this one flower shop. Close to that flower shop is living Bokuto Koutarou who comes at the shop every day, and each day buys a flower but it's always a different one. When Akaashi asks him why Bokuto says "It's a proof to me that I've made it through the previous day".
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	1. Sunflower

\- 24 March -

Six in the morning, exactly when Akaashi's alarm for work goes off. He lazily gets up from the bed and goes to the bathroom to wash up his face and brush his teeth. After he comes out from the bathroom, he puts on a plain t-shirt and black jeans, he brushes his hair a bit and soon after he exites his house.

The place where he works wasn't so far away from his home, it was about 10 minutes or so walking. Same routine, same places and not a lot people were awake, just those that needed to go to work and of course the early birds. Nothing out of casual to Akaashi.

Before he knew it, he was already in front of it. Fishing out the keys from his pocket he unlocked the door and opened the flower shop. Cleaned up a little bit and immediately took care of the flowers with big amount of affection. He loved flowers and they held important meaning to him.

Not noticing the time, it has already been a little over 7am. Obviously not a lot of people come to buy flowers at this early hour but the flower shop was still opened as every other day.

Sitting on a chair outside the shop, Akaashi pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He was observing the people passing as well as the cars. He worked at the place 2 weeks now and already had acquaintance with the people and all the places around the shop. As a person, he was the quit and calm type, always not bothered and never in hurry. He always had everything under control, as well as his feeling. More than a talking person he's more of a observant one, and one that will listen to you talking. Most of the time hiding his feelings under his poker face mask.

He knocked out of his thoughts as he felt hands clenching his jeans, looking down, it was a little child, about 2 or 3 years old. After him came his mother running while panicking.

"Yuta, what are you thinking running away from me like that and bothering the uncle?" she was breathing heavily

I'm only 23 years ma'am, Akaashi thought to himself. 

"But mama, I want to buy bouquet of flowers so I can give them to Mika" 

"Quite passionate, aren't you? I'll buy some for now" she looked up to Akaashi "Can you make a bouquet for us?" 

"Sure, I will do so now" throwing the cigarette in the trashcan he entered the shop and looked for the flowers to make a bouqet

Carefully going through the flowers and picking the ones he thought they would make a good combination together for the bouquet Akaashi was fully concentrated. Getting the flowers together he put tape around them and gave it to the little boy who had his hands already in the air. The mother paid and after saying goodbye she left the shop along her child. 

Looking at the watch on his wrist, it was already 8am. Now when it came to mind, Akaashi remembered it was already time when that person comes by to buy a flower. Akaashi met him since the first day he started working there, their first meeting was awkward as that one person had only one expression on his face and was only talking monotone. Akaashi paid no attention to it, but as the person came everyday, he was behaving differently. One day he looked like he was the saddest person alive and the next he was hyperactive. And sometimes when paying Akaashi the money, his hands would tremble. But Akaashi never asked his name since he wasn't someone who wanted to get all friendly with strangers.

This male however, intrigued Akaashi. The way he was behaving, and why was he buying one different flower each day weren't clear to Akaashi. He just couldn't help but get curious about it.

Hearing the door open, he jumped up a little since he was in deep thoughts. Akaashi saw the male with caramel colored eyes and white-gray hair with black streaks.

"Hey hey hey!" the male yelled as soon as he entered the flower shop

And Akaashi was this close to chuckling but he succeeding at keeping it to himself.

"So today is the hyperactive personality" Akaashi thought to himself

"What kinda flower are you recommending today?" the male said

Here came the usual question that was asked by the male to Akaashi every day. And Akaashi always gave him flowers that went with the male's mood and sent some messages. Today it seems, it will be a happy flower.

"I was thinking about sunflower" Akaashi said

"Ooh, nice idea. Gimme one"

"Sure"

Going to where he held the sunflowers, Akaashi couldn't help but feel this warm feeling. Picking up one sunflower, as the male always buyed only one flower per day he went back and gave over the sunflower to the customer. Akaashi stood there as he watched the golden-eyed man fish out the money and reach out his hand to give the money to Akaashi. Akaashi couldn't help but not notice the shaking hand. Suddenly the warm feeling disappeared and a worried one showed up. Akaashi reaching out to take the money, his skin touched the other's and it was cold as ice. It took aback Akaashi a little. Outside wasn't even that cold but why did the golden-eyed man that stood in front of him have so cold hands. Wanting to do something about the other male's cold hand, as it was worrying to him, he took his hand and held it, squeezeing it tightly yet still loose.

"Umm" the male in front of him hummed, he was surprised

That knocked Akaashi out of it. What was he doing so suddenly? Like he lost his mind for a second. He rapidly removed his hand and cleared out his throat.

"Sorry" Akaashi apologized 

"It's okay" the male said and smiled brightly before he stepped back to leave the shop

After the male left. Akaashi sat down on the chair and left out a big sigh as he was rubbing his face with both of his hands. He was wondering what was wrong with him, why was he suddenly acting like that. 

What was that brought him back to reality was the door opening, and the golden-eyed man showing up on it again.

"Did you maybe call my name?" the male asked

"No, I didn't call you" Akaashi was confused

"Are you sure sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you must've been hearing it, I don't even know your name"

"Oh wait really?" the male was surprised

"Yeah"

"Well then, I'm Bokuto Koutarou. Nice to meet you" he smiled

"Akaashi Keiji, nice to meet you too" Akaashi kept it short

"Then, goodbye" Bokuto waved at Akaashi with a big smiled

"Goodbye Bokuto-san" Akaashi waved back


	2. Anemone

\- 25th March -

"Good morning" a weak greeting was heard when the door opened and it showed Bokuto

"Good morning" Akaashi greeted back

He's different again today. Well, Akaashi's getting already used to it but still he finds it kind of confusing.

He watched as Bokuto was looking at all directions, furrowing his eyebrows as he had forgotten something.

"Is there something wrong Bokuto-san?" Akaashi asked

"Umm, I can't remember why I came here for" Bokuto had still his eyebrows furrowed

Akaashi panicked, but he was even more confused. Was Bokuto for real or was he just joking? He didn't seem to figure that out.

"Flower! You're here to buy a flower" Akaashi hurried up to remind him as he was still panicking

"Flower? Why?" Bokuto couldn't still remember

"Oh well, I don't know either. But you come here every day and each day buy one flower but it's always a different one."

Then Bokuto's eyes widened and it seemed like he remembered.

"Do you remember?" Akaashi didn't know why but he wanted to help him remember

"Yeah, i do now, sorry. So, which flower is it today?" Bokuto asked, but with no smile

"Anemone" 

"Has it got meaning?" 

"Every flower has a meaning. This one symbolizes protection against the evil and ill wishes. I think it fits for you at the moment."

Shit, I said too much, Akaashi thought 

"Why?" Bokuto asked but he had no particular emotion on his face 

"Um, oh well, I thought you kinda of needed it right now." Akaashi touched his nape awkwardly

"Why?"

Another "why" Akaashi had trouble with answering. Why? Oh well, he didn't know either.

"Well I just thought.." Akaashi was struggling with his words

"It's okay, I'm thankful" he said that but he still showed no emotion in it

After he gave Akaashi the money, he turned to leave, but he suddenly cowered down covering his ears and shivering. 

"They're talking so loud, s-so loud, Akaashi are you hearing them?" 

Akaashi with eyes widened went to him as fast as he could, slowly patting his back and asking him what's the problem. 

"Hey, hey, Bokuto-san, don't be scared I'm here, I'm the only one here, the voices you are hearing aren't there, the only people here are me and you" 

"B-but they're so loud" Bokuto was still cowering in fear

Akaashi removed Bokuto's hands from his head and then with his arm he pulled Bokuto closer to his chest. 

"Don't listen to the voice, here, listen to my heartbeat instead. Isn't it loud, louder than the voices in your head?" 

Bokuto had his eyes still closed and couldn't bring himself to open his mouth to talk so he just nodded. Bokuto had his hands clenched on Akaashi's wool sweater, though the shivering has calmed down. 

"It's loud" Bokuto spoke up after a while

Of course it is, you scared the shit out of me, Akaashi thought but didn't say anything. 

"Are they gone? The voices?" Akaashi softly asked

"Y-yeah" Bokuto pulled away from Akaashi's chest 

"Um, want to stay here at the shop for a while?" Akaashi didn't know if it was safe to let go Bokuto go home alone in that state

"Okay" Bokuto faintly smiled

That was the first time that day that Akaashi had seen Bokuto smile even if it was just a short and weak one. 

\------

As Akaashi was sorting the flowers, he felt finger poking his shoulder. It was Bokuto. 

"Yes Bokuto-san?" 

"Um is there a vase with water you can give me for the flower?" he said showing the anemone flower to Akaashi

"Sure, I'll give you one now" Akaashi said expressionless as always as he headed to the storage room

He was curious, not like he wasn't. Bokuto was obviously suffering from something, but what was it? He can't openly ask, he can't get too friendly, he wouldn't be himself like that. And there are also the other person's feeling, what if he's uncomfortable with questions being asked about it? 

He got a vase and went to where Bokuto was to give it to him. He filled it with water and Bokuto put in the Anemone flower. 

"It's a beautiful flower" Bokuto stated 

"All the flowers are beautiful" when it came to flowers Akaashi had this warm aura around him and you could see the affection in his eyes 

"I know" Bokuto almost whispered 

To ask or not to ask was the question in Akaashi's head. And no, not about if something was going on Bokuto, but he wanted to ask why Bokuto was coming to the flowers shop everyday and bought only one flower. 

Parting his lips, he decided to ask. 

"Bokuto-san, can i ask something?" 

"Sure" 

Akaashi could've swore he heard Bokuto gulp and that's what made him unsure. 

"Why are you coming here every day and buying only one flower?" 

Bokuto was surprised at the question, as he was expecting to be asked something else. 

"I'll tell you why" Bokuto smiled "That flower that I buy each day is like a proof to me that I've lived yet through another day. It's also something that gives me hope, making me want to carry on. That one flower is a start of my day" 

Akaashi had his mouth opened up a little and eyes full of surprise. He didn't know the flowers hid such a important meaning to Bokuto-san. Also he didn't meet a lot of people who bought flowers that they held dear to them, people mostly bought flowers because they were pretty to them. But Bokuto wasn't like that, he was different. He didn't buy flowers just because they were pretty to him, but because flowers gave him hope and he needed them. 

"You see, I have a mental illness" Bokuto continued after a short pause 

Akaashi expected it, not like he wasn't but it still hit him pretty hard in the feelings. 

"It's called Schizophrenia" 

Akaashi mouth just shaped the letter O, as he wasn't sure if he should speak or not. And it wasn't even like he knew what to speak.

"Schizophrenia is mental disorder in which people interpret reality abnormally. It has symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, disordered thinking or behavior that gets in the way of the daily life" Bokuto explained as much as he could to Akaashi, and just with that everything was clear to him

That behavior earlier also... Hearing voices.... Akaashi remembered what happened earlier.

The loud thud of the door brought Akaashi back to reality. A woman, probably around her 30s entered the shop. Akaashi immediately stood up from the table where he was sitting with Bokuto and tended to the customer. 

"Hello" the woman greeted with a smile

"Hello. What can I do for you?" Akaashi kindly asked 

"Um I was thinking what flower was nice to bring someone for their wedding" 

"Oh a wedding. I have the perfect flowers for that, just if you could wait a little" 

"Sure" 

Akaashi went after the flowers and Bokuto tagged along him. 

"Which flower are you gonna give her?" Bokuto was curious

"You'll see" 

"What's its meaning?" Bokuto asked another question

"Wait a little, I'll tell you" Akaashi said to him as he was getting the flowers and wrapped around them a ribbon. 

"White roses..." Bokuto whispered as he saw Akaashi making a bouquet of them 

When Akaashi got the bouquet ready he went to the customer and passed her the roses. 

"Roses... White" the woman smiled softly 

"Yes, they often represent purity, innocence and youthfulness, also can mean a new beginning and everlasting love. White roses are sometimes referred to as bridal roses because of their association with young love and eternal loyalty. So they're always one of the choices for congratulating a wedding. "

"I see, I didn't know all of that" the woman still had the warm smile on her face 

The woman handed Akaashi the money and left the shop after she bid her goodbye. 

"Don't all roses symbolize love?" 

"No, not all of them, but most of them are connected to love in some way" 

"Ooh, teach me bout that" that was the most enthusiasm Bokuto has shown today

"Tomorrow, I'll be closing the shop now and go home" 

"It's already closing time?" 

"Yeah, it's 3pm already" 

"Oh I'll go home too then" 

"Wait a little for me outside the shop while I'm closing it, I'll send you home" 

"Okie dokie" Bokuto said and excited the shop

\----

"Done?" Bokuto asked Akaashi

"Yeah, let's go" 

"You didn't have to though, my house is close, like 5 minutes" 

"It's okay, I have no better job to do anyway" 

"Oh okay" 

It was quiet as they were walking. Also Akaashi didn't feel the need to start a conversation since it was a short walk to Bokuto's house. 

"The cats are so cute" Bokuto said

"Cats? Where?" Akaashi was confused as he didn't see cats anywhere 

"There, right by the corner" Bokuto pointed and Akaashi still did see them

Then Akaashi remembered their morning conversation, hallucinations.... 

"Bokuto-san.... There aren't any cats there" Akaashi quietly said 

"Ohh, there aren't?" Bokuto had straight face on "Then.... Hallucinating?" 

"... Yeah" Akaashi felt this sad feeling as he said that to Bokuto 

"It's okay, don't worry, it happens often, and I appreciate it when people tell me that what I'm seeing it's not actually there. So, please tell me from now on too" Bokuto smiled

"Sure" 

"There it is, my house"

At the direction where he pointed there was really a house. 

"Oh, then go get in, I'll wait here until you get inside" 

"Okie" said Bokuto and after he waved at Akaashi he smiled and started running to the house

"Don't run Bokuto-san!" Akaashi warned him

But Bokuto had already got to his house and before he got inside he waved at Akaashi with a smile and Akaashi waved back. 

Akaashi left out a sigh, and took a good look at the sky before he continued on his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic like this and I really hope I make I good job. Also keep in mind that I don't know a lot about flowers but I have taken a lot of notes and looked through everything carefully. Also about Bokuto's mental disorder, everything is from notes and what I've written down from the internet that I thought what was important. I will write how I imagine the disorder cause I have never met or saw person with it.


	3. Light Pink Rose

\- 26th March - 

It was another working day for Akaashi. 6am, his alarm went off. Groaning and turning in bed not wanting to leave it as he needed more sleep. Suddenly he stopped and looked at the ceiling. Thoughts drifted to Bokuto. How was he handling everything?

It must've been hard for Bokuto. Thinking about it, if it was Akaashi he probably wouldn't take it. But there was Bokuto, everyday waking up at 8am and taking the time to go to his shop and buy a flower. Was Bokuto strong? Being able to live normally? Did he have everything under control? 

Ugh why am I even thinking about him, Akaashi thought and got up from his bed heading to the bathroom.

The cold water against his face felt nice, waking him up completely and giving freshness to his face.

After he was done washing up and brushing his teeth he went back to his room and found some clothes to wear. Checking if he forgot anything he slowly exited the house and locked the door. 

\---

As he got close to the flowers shop, he saw a figure sitting next to it. Getting even closer, he recognized the figure sitting there. It was Bokuto. Fastening the pace, he got in front of him. 

"Bokuto-san... What are you doing here at this early hour?" 

"Akaashi" Bokuto smiled when he saw Akaashi

Akaashi didn't realize it before, but now when Bokuto looked up to him, he had terrible eye bags under his eyes. Did he even sleep? 

"Don't sit on the floor, it's cold and you'll catch a cold" Akaashi softly grabbed his hand so he could pull him up.

Akaashi twitched at the touch of Bokuto's skin. He was freezing

"Bokuto!" Akaashi yelled as he couldn't take it anymore 

"Okay okay, I'm getting up" 

"That's not it. It's so cold outside. I mean yeah it's March but it's still pretty chilly especially in the morning and you're dressed so thinly. I'm pretty sure you didn't even get a nice sleep so why are you here? You don't even have a coat or a scarf or anything on you" suddenly the person who usually never talked much said all of this, but this time he felt like he must have said what he said

Bokuto shouldn't be there, sitting outside the shop with so thin clothes and those eyebags under his eyes. He's in no state to do that. Maybe he was, but Akaashi still worried, he worried if Bokuto's symptoms will become worse because of it, and it would be his fault. . 

As Bokuto accepted Akaashi's reached out hand to help him get up, Bokuto after standing on his feet got dizzy and lost his balance causing his hand to slip out of Akaashi's. Akaashi's heartbeat got louder and faster as he was comprehending what is happening. Trying to prevent Bokuto from falling, he wrapped both of his hands around Bokuto's waist and causing to envelop him into a hug. 

"Akaashi, open your eyes" Bokuto chuckled "You're not even the one who's falling" 

Akaashi just realized he had his eyes closed the whole time, also when realizing what kinda situation he was in, he immediately took few steps back from Bokuto. 

"You're funny" Bokuto said after still laughing 

"I might be funny but you're being ridiculous!" Akaashi was looking serious "You're not being careful Bokuto-san, just a while ago you might've fallen and hurt yourself!" 

"I'm sorry" Bokuto looked down and pouted as he felt sorry he worried Akaashi

Akaashi left out a big sigh before he reassured Bokuto with one "It's okay" 

Getting the keys he unlocked the door of the shop and went inside along with Bokuto. 

"Here take this, I did turn on the heater but it might take a while to get warmer" Akaashi said to Bokuto giving him his coat

"But you-" 

"I'm fine, I'm not cold at all, you wear it" 

"If you say so then okay" 

Akaashi cleaned what was there to clean in the shop and sat down on the chair next to Bokuto and put one of his hands on the table. 

"Care to explain all of this, Bokuto-san?" Akaashi turned to Bokuto

"So, sometimes I have insomnia, and I can't sleep. I didn't want to stay in bed if I wasn't gonna sleep so I atleast waited until 5am to come here so I can see you" 

"5am!?" Akaashi eyes widened as he looked at his watch and it was 7.11am "You waited for 2 hours?" 

"Yeah" 

"Just a "yeah"? Bokuto-San, you waited for me for 2 hours in this cold weather"

"I'm okay tho" 

"Maybe now, but later...." Akaashi didn't even want to finish his sentence 

"I'll be okay" Bokuto smiled 

"Wait, I'll make something warm for you to drink" Akaashi said and got up

\------ 

"Here, coffee" Akaashi handed the cup to Bokuto 

"Thanks" Bokuto had a little troubled expression on his face but said nothing 

Akaashi took a sip from his coffee as he was watching outside through the window. Then his attention drifted to Bokuto, he didn't even take a one sip from his coffee. 

"Why aren't you drinking?" Akaashi asked

"Oh well I.." Bokuto hesitated "The doctors have said I should avoid it so" 

Akaashi parted lips in realization of what has he just done. 

"Well one shouldn't make a problem, so I can drink it" Bokuto said after a short pause

"No, you're not drinking it" Akaashi took the cup with coffee and spilled it all outside the flowers shop

"Why did you spill it? It's a waste" Bokuto stood up 

"You shouldn't drink that. I will make tea for you, you can drink that right?" 

"I can tea, but hey, you don't have to" 

"Wait a little, I'll make you some right away" 

"You really didn't have t-" Bokuto tried telling him but Akaashi had already went to the little kitchen they had in the shop

Akaashi felt guilty, not just because of the coffee, but also Bokuto waiting for him for 2 hours. He couldn't help but not get worried and feel guilty about it. 

The whistling sound of the tea pot brought him back to reality. The tea was ready. Akaashi poured it in a cup and brought it to Bokuto. 

"Here's the tea" 

"Thank you" 

"Do you want sugar?" 

"One spoon would be nice" 

Akaashi got the spoon and the sugar and just how Bokuto said, he put just one spoon of it. 

"Sorry" 

"For what?" Bokuto asked as he was blowing the tea 

"For doing things without asking you" 

"No, it's okay, you wouldn't have known, don't worry about it" Bokuto smiled

"This morning also, you waited for me for 2 hours..."

"That's also not your fault, it's not like you told me to wait for you, I did it on my own" 

"Exactly, why did you have to...?" Akaashi had this light painful expression on his face

"It's all good now" 

"But-" 

"Akaashi. It's okay" Bokuto held Akaashi's hand

Akaashi didn't say anything afterwards, even so feelings of guilt and worry were still present. 

"Oh yeah, what flower is it today?" Bokuto remembered and his face lit up immediately, clapping his hands

"Rose, light pink rose'' Akaashi said softly

"How do you think of what flower to recommend me so easily?" 

"By determining your mood and actions"

"And how do you know what flower matches me?" 

"Sometimes it's not how the flowers match its meaning to you, sometimes it's a message I want to convey for you" 

Akaashi took a few seconds before he put a hand on his mouth and realized how embarrassing was what he said just now. 

"Oh, I see, like yesterday!" 

"Yeah.." Akaashi was still embarrassed "Wait let me bring you the rose" 

"Okie dokie" 

Embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing is what went through Akaashi's mind. Squatted down, he rubbed his cheeks and asked himself few times what in the world he was doing. He can't behave like this. 

Hurrying to get the rose and hurry back to give it to Bokuto he heard voice. It was Bokuto's. He was talking with someone. 

Getting back to Bokuto, he saw him struggling to talk to someone, but there was no one, he was talking to the air. Hallucinating.... 

"Ah Akaashi, you're here, please see what the customer wants" Bokuto said and went behind Akaashi to hide and tugged his shirt "I don't do well with strangers." 

Akaashi slowly turned around to face Bokuto and held his hands. 

"There isn't a customer Bokuto-san, you're seeing it" Akaashi slowly said it

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I can usually differentiate them but this time I thought there was really a customer"

"It's okay. Here's the rose by the way" Akaashi handed Bokuto the rose 

"Light pink, such a nice color it has" Bokuto smiled

"That's right" 

"Oh the money.." 

"It's okay, you don't have to pay me, I'm giving it to you" 

"Is that okay?" 

"Completely okay" Akaashi smiled a little to reassure him

"Thank you" Bokuto smiled back but with a bigger smile "So, what's the meaning of this light pink rose?" 

"The meaning..." 

Akaashi exactly knew why he chose that rose and that color and the meaning of it but saying it aloud and like this would be a little too much embarrassing for him. 

"Hm hm?" Bokuto tilted his head right and left 

"Umm it symbolizes sweetness, grace, happiness and..." Akaashi stopped 

"And?" Bokuto was in anticipation 

"And admiration" Akaashi looked down while saying that cause it was embarrassing 

"Do you think of me like that?" 

"Well, I do think you're pretty strong person" Akaashi had his hand on his nape 

"Thank you, truly. Those words mean a lot to me" Bokuto had the warmest expression on his face that can't be described 

"N-not a big deal" Akaashi finally looked at Bokuto

\----------

9am. Bokuto has fell asleep while watching Akaashi selling flowers to the customers and hearing him talk with passion about each flower he sold. Noticing that Bokuto was asleep, Akaashi brought a blanked and carefully covered Bokuto with it. 

"Finally he can get some sleep" Akaashi quietly said

10 minutes after, Bokuto started moving around and slowly opening his eyes. 

"Akaashi, what time is it?" 

"9.11am"

"It's 9 already?" 

"Yeah" 

"My mom calls me to remind me that I need to go to a therapy around this time but my phone is at home right now" 

"Therapy? What time you go?" 

"I should be there at 10"

"Oh 10...WAIT, that's in a less than a hour. Get up, get up!" 

"What?" 

"Get up, we're going there now! You can't miss a therapy, I can't allow you to do that" Akaashi hurried to get inside the flowers that were outside

"It won't do me any bad if I miss it just once"

"Bokuto-san, it's for your own health, you need it"

Akaashi didn't know why, but he couldn't help but intervene. Bokuto had that mental disorder and needs therapy once in a while. He worried that if he doesn't, his mental health would be in risk. And Akaashi didn't want that. He wanted this Bokuto. 

"Akaashi, it's just a therapy.."

"Bokuto-san, you need to go to that therapy, it will also make you feel better, with Schizophrenia you need that support. "

"I know but..."

"No buts, we're going now" Akaashi took Bokuto's hand and they both exited the shop, but they didn't leave after Akaashi locked the door


	4. Daisy

\- Friday, March 27 -

Akaashi yesterday got a lot of reprimands from the owner of the flowers shop because he left it while it was working hours. He promised that he won't do it again and apologized for his behavior.

Today, 7am, Akaashi is in front of the shop and luckily he didn't find a freezing Bokuto in front of it. He unlocked the door and went in. Firstly, he started of with cleaning up as always and then took care of the flowers.

When he finished, he went into the kitchen to make something to drink. Searching through the cupboards and the drawers he found coffee. Then he remembered, Bokuto can't drink coffee. What if sometimes he forgot and gave it to him by mistake? He can't make such a mistake. He took the coffee and threw it in the trashcan. Instead he got some tea leaves and started brewing them. The room was filling with the sweet scent of it and Akaashi liked that scent a lot. When Akaashi approximated that the tea was ready he turned off the stove and poured the tea in a glass. After that he brewed another for Bokuto, since it was almost 8am and it was time for him to come by.

Getting the two cups he went to the front room where the counter and some flowers were, and sat on the chair and put the cups with tea on the table.

"Akaashiiiiii~" Bokuto entered the shop

There he was. And at exactly 8am.

"Good morning Bokuto-san" Akaashi greeted him

"Flower, flower?" Bokuto's eyes shined

Akaashi couldn't help but chuckle at Bokuto's innocence no matter how serious he wanted to stay and not react to it.

"Did you just laugh? It's the first time I saw you laugh like that" Bokuto smiled

"I didn't laugh"

"You didn't."

"I did not" Akaashi looked angry and Bokuto didn't try to argue with him any more than that

"So, the flower?"

"Let me get it, you sit down while I do so" Akaashi said and got up from the chair 

"Okie" Bokuto said as he was sitting down in the chair next to where was Akaashi sitting

\---

"Here" Akaashi said as he handed the flower to Bokuto

"Ooh, a daisy"

"Yes"

"What it symbolizes?"

"Innocence"

"Aww that's such a nice meaning, thank you" Bokuto was in awe, and tried to get the money from his pocket while Akaashi stopped him

"No, don't pay me for the flowers you buy anymore"

"But-"

"It's okay, I wanna give them to you"

"Are you for sure?"

"Of course" Akaashi didn't smile a lot but when it came to Bokuto he thought he should smile a little once in a while "The tea in the table was for you, why aren't you drinking it?"

"Ooh, it was for me?"

"For whom else?"

"Sorry, and thanks" Bokuto smiled brightly as he took the cup of tea 

"Not a problem" 

"Hey, Akaashi you said that you were gonna teach me about roses yesterday but we couldn't" Bokuto frowned

"I will tell you about them now. Which colors do you want to know about?" 

"Hmmm, yellow, orange, dark pink and other colors" 

"So, yellow roses represent friendship, joy and caring. Also warmth, delight and affection. They say 'good luck', 'welcome back' and 'remember me'". 

Bokuto leaned his head on his hand and carefully listened to what was Akaashi saying, watching every movement he made with his face and body. Akaashi looked different while talking about flowers and Bokuto loved that.

"Orange roses represent desire, fascination, enthusiasm and energy" Akaashi continued "While dark pink roses mean appreciation and gratitude."

"Isn't it awesome, the flower language and conveying words with them" Bokuto looked in no particular direction

"Right, flowers are awesome"

"They really are" Bokuto nodded

Akaashi's mind then drifted to the issue with the coffee and his thoughts about being careful with Bokuto.

"Hey, Bokuto, what things are there that you should avoid?" Akaashi asked

"Hmm" Bokuto looked at the ceiling "Things like refined carbohydrates, caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes. Also too much sugar"

Cigarettes... Akaashi thought and set a clear mindset, he won't smoke anymore nor drink alcohol.

"Did you ask that so you could be careful about it?"

"Yeah, actually" Akaashi admitted

"You don't have to be so careful about me, Akaashi"

'I know that, I know, but I can't help it' was what went through Akaashi's mind.

"It's alright, I wanna know about it"

"Alright then"

"You don't have a therapy today right?"

"No" Bokuto laughed "On Mondays and Thursdays only"

"Oh okay, good"

"Then, I should go home now, I also drank the whole tea" Bokuto smiled and got up from his seat

"Oh, already?" Akaashi felt empty

"Yea, it's enough for today. I'll see you tomorrow" 

Just as Bokuto was opening the door to leave, Akaashi grabbed his hand.

Then Akaashi remembered, tomorrow is Saturday and Akaashi had planned that day off since he started working there. He won't be seeing Bokuto tomorrow. 

"Wanna go somewhere tomorrow?" slipped from Akaashi's mouth without realization 

Shit. What was Akaashi saying that and why, he didn't know. He never wanted to get close to him, he never intended to and here he was, wanting Bokuto's presence. 

"You won't come here tomorrow?" Bokuto asked 

"No, I have that day off" 

"Ooh, then will the shop be open, you know, so I can buy a flowers?" 

"Someone else will come instead of me, but just for tomorrow."

"Umm, by going somewhere what did you mean?" 

"I just thought, if it wasn't a problem to you, we could go somewhere" 

"Like?" 

"The zoo? The movies? I don't know...." Akaashi struggled 

"The zoo?! Will there be penguins?" Bokuto's face lit up 

"Probably...?" Akaashi was unsure of it

"Let's go, I love penguins!" Bokuto smiled brightly 

"Then, to the zoo?" Akaashi asked 

"Yeah. But...." Bokuto began and then looked down "I'm not good around lot of people" 

Akaashi didn't consider that. But Bokuto became so happy because he heard there were penguins and he was gonna see them, Akaashi didn't want to ruin his enthusiasm. 

"I'll be with you, right by your side. It'll be alright like that, right?" 

"Yea, I'll be fine if I'm with you" Bokuto smiled at him, and Akaashi smiled back

"So, about the details... Gimme your number, I'll text you" 

"Oh okay sure" 

They exchanged their numbers, and after that Bokuto went home and Akaashi stayed in the shop selling flowers until it was closing time.


	5. Yellow Tulip

\- March 28th, Saturday -

Akaashi waited for Bokuto outside of the shop while explaining things to the person who was going to take over the job for that day only while he and Bokuto were away.

After Akaashi explained what he thought he needed to explain and after he got a flower for a Bokuto he went under the tree next to the shop and leaned against it.

It was 9am, the time that they agreed to meet at. Akaashi also told Bokuto when they were texting not to go and buy flower himself but instead he will get him one and Bokuto just agreed on it. 

Akaashi had his eyes closed for a while and let the chilly breeze caress his face as he taking a big breath. Mornings were indeed chilly, as spring has just started. 

"Akaashi~" 

Akaashi heard a soft voice calling him, slowly opening his eyes the sun rays were blocking his view making him to narrow his eyes. 

"It's you, Bokuto-san" Akaashi almost whispered 

"It's me" Bokuto smiled

Akaashi moved away from the tree, and reached out his hand to give Bokuto the yellow tulip he got for him. 

"Yellow tulip" Bokuto smiled brightly as he took the flower

"I thought it'll give a nice message for today as it represents cheerfulness and happiness" 

"Ooh, true, you're very thoughtful Akaashi" 

"Where will you keep it though?" Akaashi realized 

"Oh, well I can take it home and then come again, it's close anyway" 

"Okay, I'll wait for you" 

Then Bokuto headed to his house bringing the flower and putting it inside a vase. Soon after, he left again to go to Akaashi. 

"That was fast" Akaashi thought when he saw Bokuto's figure appearing 

Just when he parted his lips to call his name he twitched and his heart sank when he saw Bokuto fall down on the street just like that. Running up to him, he noticed Bokuto's shivering. He squated down and softly held Bokuto's chin. 

"A-Akaashi... Someone pushed me" Bokuto stuttered 

"Bokuto-san......" Akaashi whispered 

"S-someone pushed me" 

Akaashi's face was pained. There was nobody there who could have pushed him. 

"Bokuto-san, there was nobody there" 

"B-but I'm sure if it" 

It was a delusion, one of the symptoms and Akaashi had no idea how to make him believe that such thing didn't happen. 

"Bokuto-san, don't you trust me?" 

"I do trust you but.." 

"Bokuto-San, you might have felt like somebody pushed but in reality there was no one" 

"I-is that true?" 

"It's true."

"Really?

"Yes, now get up and let's go to the zoo to see the penguins" Akaashi stood up first and then Bokuto after him

"Okay" Bokuto cheered up

\----

They took a cab, and headed to the zoo. There were many people around, and every time some people passed Bokuto or some even accidentally brushed off their shoulder on Bokuto, he got goosebumps every time it happened. Clinging onto Akaashi's sleeve on his coat. Bokuto was a little taller and older than Akaashi but in this situation he felt like the smaller one. 

"Here, hold my hand" Akaashi grabbed Bokuto's hand

"But the people will see" Bokuto was trying to remove his hand from Akaashi's but Akaashi held on tightly 

"So what? It's okay." 

Bokuto after that didn't try to move his hand. 

"Look, a giraffe" Akaashi pointed 

"Yea, such a long neck it has" 

They saw monkeys, zebras, pandas, koalas, lions, tigers and many other different animals. But Bokuto still hasn't seen the penguins. 

"Akaashiii, where are the penguins~?" Bokuto whined

"They're close, we'll almost see them" 

They walked a little further, and at the sight of the penguins, Bokuto's sad face lit up and he smiled brightly. 

"Akaashi Akaashi" Bokuto was out of words and just repeated Akaashi's name and pointed towards the penguins

"Yes, Bokuto-San, there are the penguins" Akaashi smiled a little 

"Aren't they cute?" Bokuto was restless 

And they really were, their cuteish but also funny walk. And how they walked in one order. 

"Yes, they are" Akaashi smiled

It was heartwarming, seeing Bokuto happy like that with no worries and troubles. That was the only thing Akaashi wanted for Bokuto. 

"Photo! Let's take a photo" 

"Of the penguins?" 

"Us too. A selfie and also will show the penguins even though they're a little far from us" 

"Oh okay, let's do it" 

Akaashi fished out his phone from the pocket and turned on the camera. He got closer to Bokuto but also left a space between them so the penguins can be seen too. He raised his hand and just before he clicked he heard Bokuto fastly say "Hey hey hey!!' and do something with his hands and that made him giggle. 

Click. 

The photo was taken, and it showed the smiling faces of both Akaashi and Bokuto. It was just a photo but it radiated warmness, happiness and sincerity. Also a proof that they were there, at that time on that place even if it gets forgotten in the future, buried along with the past. You don't remember it, but you know it in inside your heart that something like that was there and it happened. 

"It's a beautiful photo, isn't it?" Akaashi said

"It is." Bokuto smiled looking at the picture "Send it to me" 

"I'm sending it now" 

\------

"It was a happy day today, wasn't it?" Bokuto mentioned as he was looking through the window of the cab

"It was." 

"I haven't been to the zoo in so long" Bokuto stopped and then continued "Since I was child" 

"You couldn't?" Akaashi asked 

"It was around my teenage years when I started getting symptoms of Schizophrenia" 

"Ooh" Akaashi opened up his mouth 

"It was starting already when I distanced myself from everyone, ruined my grades, had trouble sleeping and socializing with people and such" 

"How did you know you had it?" 

"My parents noticed I was behaving weird so they took me to a doctor. At first they just diagnosed it as depression and later on even bipolar disorder. It was only few years ago that they actually diagnosed me with Schizophrenia" 

"Ooh, so misdiagnosing happened" 

"Yeah" 

"You take medicine right?" 

"Yeah, daily" 

"Don't they keep the symptoms under control?" 

"They do stabilize them and such but they still exist and are present. Not so often though."

Akaashi wanted to ask but at the same he didn't want to, he did know if the question was adequately appropriate nor if the Bokuto's answer could pain him. Because if the answer was 'yes' it was going to break Akaashi's heart, and he never ever wanted to hear those words from Bokuto. But he wanted to know, Bokuto's past, his weak moments in life so he could've help him forgot about it and heal from it. To never even think about it. 

"Bokuto-San, can I ask you something?" 

"Sure" 

Akaashi gulped before he spoke up. 

"Have you ever attempted to take your life?" Akaashi was hardly saying the question 

"Yes, I did, once." 

There it was, Akaashi's heart hurt. Why? Why did Bokuto suffer? Suffer so much that he would even try to take his own life? 

"The voices in my head were so loud, and the images I was seeing were too much for me to handle. I wanted it to stop, I wanted to run away but there was nowhere to run. There was only one thing that could help me, and it was death, I wanted to die so I could set myself free from myself"

Akaashi's mind went blank. If that day that suicide happened he would have never met Bokuto. If that suicide happened Bokuto wouldn't exist now. And that pained Akaashi, pained so much that he felt as his heart was getting stabbed. And what brought him even more pain was the thought, 'What if Bokuto thought of taking his life again?'. That was a question that Akaashi feared. It was terrible, a terrible something that broke Akaashi's heart. 

"Why are you crying Akaashi?" Bokuto turned to see Akaashi with tears in his eyes and he was so surprised to see the almost emotionless man in tears 

That was when Akaashi actually realized he was crying and felt something rolling down his cheeks. He surprised himself. 

"I'm sorry... I just... I don't know" Akaashi was struggling with speaking 

"Are you crying because of me?" 

"W-what if you try to do so again?" Akaashi didn't even want to say that word

"I won't. I have you in my life now" Bokuto smiled at the crying Akaashi in front of him and softly wiped off all the tears on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that everything that I'm writing about Schizophrenia is information that I've found on the internet.


	6. Lisianthus

\- Wednesday, April 15th -

"Bokuto-san, the tea is ready" Akaashi yelled from the kitchen after getting the two cups to bring to Bokuto who was sitting on the table in the front room "There are cookies too" 

Bokuto's face lit up when he heard cookies. 

"Cookies?! I love cookies" 

"Here you go" Akaashi said as he put the cups and the plate with cookies on the table "Be careful with the tea, it's hot" 

"I'll wait for it to cool down" Bokuto said as he took a cookie and stuffed it in his mouth 

Akaashi also gave him the flower for today, it was a lisianthus. Representing appreciation and admiration. It was beautiful, the flower itself and its meaning also. 

\---------

It has been over 20 days since they were at the zoo. Nothing particular happened, just Bokuto going to the flower shop in the morning, Akaashi giving him a flower and they would always drink tea afterwards and chat together. Bokuto loved sitting on the chair next to the window and observing how Akaashi looked whenever he was selling flowers to a customer. It was clear that Akaashi loved what was he doing. But what about Bokuto? He was either home or at the shop every day, since he never succeed at having a job. He couldn't, it just scared him. He didn't do well with people neither he was sure he could do what's needed for the job. It saddened Bokuto too but the fear was bigger. He hardly passed his studies as well but in the end he did somehow. 

"You know tomorrow you have a therapy right?" Akaashi asked as he took a sip from his tea

"Yes, my mom also reminds me over the phone" 

"Over the phone? Why?" Akaashi inquired 

"She isn't home, she's working in another town" 

"Ooh" 

Their talk was interrupted as Bokuto's phone rang. It was an unknown number. 

"Hello?" Bokuto answered it

"Hello. Here's Kuroo" the voice on the other side said

Bokuto stopped functioning for a moment. He hasn't heard that name for a while. Since their high school days as they went on their separate ways afterwards. It was weird though, they were inseparable before but now after not seeing each other for many years they could hardly exchange any words. 

"I came back to the town, so.. I was thinking if we could see each other?" Kuroo was struggling 

And Bokuto didn't know what to say. Could he see Kuroo after years? Would he still be the same way as before? Could he handle it? Bokuto was unsure. 

Akaashi was confused though. He didn't understand who called nor what that someone wanted. 

"It's okay if you don't want to" Kuroo continued over the phone

But Bokuto did long for his friend in some way. Their time spend together lingered in his heart and stinged, showing a nostalgia.

"I-I can see you, atleast I think so?" there was doubt in Bokuto's words

"No it's okay then, dont worry about it" Kuroo was about to hang up

"Kuroo-kun wait" Bokuto hasn't called that name for so long it felt weird and nostalgic, it even surprised him

Bokuto heard Kuroo sniff his nose, was he trying not to cry? Was it because Bokuto said his name?... Or maybe Bokuto just imagined it? 

"I do want to m-meet you" Bokuto finally said it out though he stuttered a little

"T-thank you" 

It was now for sure, Bokuto heard crying noises over the phone. 

"I'm sorry.. I-i just couldn't help it, I felt so overwhelmed" Kuroo was sobbing

"It's okay" hearing Kuroo cry made Bokuto tear up too

"Where are you? I'll come to you" Kuroo calmed down 

"There's this one flower shop close to my house and I'm in it, when you come you'll see it right away" Bokuto explained

"I'll be there in 10 minutes" 

And he hung up. 

"Who was that?" Akaashi asked 

"A friend from high school Kuroo. I called him here, was that okay?" 

"It's not a problem at all." 

"Thanks" Bokuto smiled

"You had trouble talking with him, will you be okay?" 

"I will, probably" 

"I'm also here, so, you shouldn't worry" 

"That's right" 

Few words from Akaashi and Bokuto already felt better. Bokuto always felt so grateful for Akaashi being there to support him, he felt as if Akaashi wasn't there he would be so much worse. 

"Bokuto-san" Akaashi called Bokuto alarming him while his eyes were looking at the door

A black haired man with spikey hair showed up. And Bokuto stood up from the chair the second he saw him. He didn't know what to do though. But he didn't even have to. Instead, Kuroo went to him and hugged him. 

"Thank you for meeting me, and sorry we've lost contact" Kuroo said softly 

Bokuto didn't say anything just smiled and hugged Kuroo back. He sure missed his best friend a lot. 

Then they pulled of from the hug and Kuroo sat down in a chair. Bokuto also introduced Kuroo to Akaashi. 

Akaashi thought he shouldn't interrupt them and leave them talk alone so he went to take care of the flowers. 

Bokuto and Kuroo on another side, were talking about how were they doing and what happened while they weren't in each other's life. Bokuto had been struggling to talk at first but after a while it was easy for him to talk to Kuroo once again.

But it got quiet after. Silence was present as they ran out of what to say. 

The one who broke the silence was Kuroo. 

"That guy, Akaashi, are you close to him?" 

"Yea, we're friends and he's really nice person" 

"Does he know about your situation?" 

"He knows, I've told him everything about it."

"So you trust him also" 

"I do trust Akaashi, a lot" Bokuto wasn't hesitant at all 

"It's all good then, as long as you're happy" Kuroo smiled

\-------

"Akaashi, was it?" Kuroo had come to the room where Akaashi was 

"Yes. Is there something?" 

"Bokuto was calling for you"

"Oh, I'll come right away" Akaashi tried to go but Kuroo stopped him

"Are you hanging out with Bokuto just out of a pity?" Kuroo asked Akaashi seriously 

"No, that's not it. Not at all" Akaashi was trying his best to defend his feelings 

"Really?" Kuroo raised his eyebrow

"Yes. He has become someone important to me" 

"Well Bokuto likes you a lot, so it should be okay. You pass." Kuroo laughed 

"This was a test?" 

"Yeah, it was. Bokuto needs to be careful of the people around him because not everyone has or will have genuine feelings about him."

And they seemed logical, Kuroo's words. 

"I do understand where are you coming from, Kuroo-san" 

"Yeah. Let's go to Bokuto now" 

Just as they were leaving the room Kuroo stopped. 

"Is there something wrong Kuroo-San?" 

Kuroo was contemplating whether to speak as it was a sensti topic or not but in the end he did. 

"Bokuto... " Kuroo paused "Has he realized that his mother is dead?"


	7. Cyclamen

\- Thursday, 16th April -

Akaashi was sitting on the table slowly drinking his tea as he was looking outside the window. Kuroo's words from yesterday were tingling in his head. With every sip he took from the sweet tea it became more and more bitter. Bokuto's mom had died but he still thinks that she's alive and doing well working in another town. Will it be okay to have him continue believe that? Or should he tell him? Akaashi was struggling as he didn't seem to be able to make the right decision.

Bokuto was now at the Mental Health Clinic having his therapy with the psychotherapist. Before going there, he first went to Akaashi to, of course, buy a flower. Bokuto did notice something weird with Akaashi's behavior but he just stayed silent.

"Auntie, I think I'm fine even without you now" Bokuto said to the psychotherapist leaving her bewildered, should she take that as an insult?

"What do you mean Bokuto-san?" she awkwardly laughed

"Ain't I getting better?"

"Well yes, you are, but" and Bokuto interrupted her

"You see, I have this one friend, and he really has a nice impact on me. I had became a lot better after meeting him." Bokuto was smiling as he was speaking

"There's not much for me to talk about if you say that you're fine and can go on managing your life properly without me. I've also seen a lot of progression in you. We can terminate it anytime, if you're ready that's it."

"Let's do that then"

"Are you sure, Bokuto-san?"

"Yes" 

After that talk, they decided on their last session and Bokuto left her office. She has also said to him that if he has some problems and needs counseling he should go to her anytime. And that was reassuring for Bokuto. 

With hands in his pocket, Bokuto was heading to where Akaashi was. On the way there he saw a grocery shop and seeing strawberries an idea came to his mind. Akaashi once mentioned how he liked strawberries so now Bokuto remembered it and went to buy some. 

After he bought the strawberries he headed once again to the flower shop. It didn't take him long though, another 10 minutes and he has already arrived. 

"Akaashiiii~ Look, I bought you strawberries" Bokuto said all excited showing the transparent box with strawberries in it 

"Oh you're back. Also, thanks for the strawberries" Akaashi took the strawberries and went to wash and then pour them in a bowl 

"Yummy" Bokuto said as chewed the strawberries "Akaashi, you get some too" 

"I am" Akaashi smiled

\------------

Akaashi was making various bouquets of flowers in the room where he was keeping most of the flowers and took care of them. It was relaxing to him. And it helped a lot to clear his head and think straight. While Bokuto was making himself some tea in the kitchen. 

After a while, he suddenly stopped and grit his teeth as he made a decision. He will try to make Bokuto realize that his mother is not alive. 

Akaashi didn't know how will Bokuto react. He was scared though, scared of making Bokuto worse. What if Bokuto's not gonna be the same way ever again? For a moment he even hesitated, thoughts like not telling him were present. But that wouldn't be fair. Living your whole life not knowing your mother has died is unfair and painful. Living obliviously like that. It shouldn't be like that.

Grabbing his car keys but not before he made that one bouquet specially for some place, he went to Bokuto and along with him excited the shop. 

"Heyyyy, where are we going?" Bokuto was continously asking about that as he was getting in the car "And you're with your car today?" 

"You'll see where" Akaashi said we he was turning the engine on 

\--------------

Half an hour after, they arrived at the place. And Akaashi was glad he asked Kuroo yesterday about it. 

"Akaashi" Bokuto said with a soft voice "Why are we at the graveyard?" 

"I need you to see something" Akaashi grabbed Bokuto's wrist and started walking

Some time after that, they stopped. Akaashi didn't know what was he doing but he knew that he had to. Bitting his bottom lip in sorrow he looked at the expressionless face of Bokuto. 

He moved forward a little leaving done the bouquet he made on the grave. 

"Akaashi" Bokuto tugged on Akaashi's coat sleeve "Why is my mom's name written on that grave?" Bokuto pointed at the grave in front of him

Akaashi didn't know what to say to him. 

"Is it someone else with my mother's name? That must be it" 

Akaashi just tightly squeezed his eyes. 

"It's your mom, Bokuto-san" Akaashi finally said it 

"Akaashi~ That can't be true. My mom is alive" Bokuto was just smiling 

"It is true....." 

"Cmon Akaashi, you're not someone who would make such jokes" 

"Don't you trust me?" 

"I do. But what are you saying can't be true. My mom is well." 

"She's dead, Bokuto-san" Akaashi was bitting his bottom lip 

"She's not. I know you're lying to me" Bokuto was laughing it off

"I would never" 

Now it was clear to Bokuto that Akaashi wasn't kidding. Reality suddenly hit him and he fell down on his knees to the ground. Bokuto didn't know what to feel. His face expressionless but eyes full of tears rolling down his red cheeks. 

Akaashi squated down beside him, tapping mildly his back. It was painful for him too seeing Bokuto like that. 

Bokuto didn't need a lot of time to break down in tears, sobbing loudly and sorrowful expression on his face. Akaashi moved even closer to him enveloping him in a tight hug. And Bokuto was griping to his coat so tightly, Akaashi felt as Bokuto was piercing through his skin with his nails. And he allowed him to do so. Because nothing, literally nothicn could be on pair with Bokuto's pain and grieving right now. 

"A... Akaashi...My mom... She... She isn't here anymore" Bokuto was hardly speaking through his sobbing 

And Akaashi just hugged him even tighter, keeping his eyes closed because he was afraid he would cry too.


	8. Purple Sweetpea

\- 16th may, friday - 

Bokuto was finally coping up with the fact that his mother was dead. There were so many sleepless night, storms in his heart and hardships with every breath he took. He was in a bad state for some time. The symptoms were present more than usual even though he took medication. He also had a few more sessions with his psychotherapist and then stopped. During that time, Akaashi was always there, right by his side. Walked with him through everything. Supported him as much as he could. He gave all of himself to help Bokuto heal from the pain that was taking over him. Going even to his house, sleeping over as he tried to get Bokuto to sleep because he often had insomnia. Holding his hand the whole night, just so he could sleep fine. Because Akaashi was hurting just seeing those black circles around Bokuto's eyes and his a little bit too fair skin. It was awkward everytime he went there though, as sometimes Bokuto's father was there and Akaashi found it kinda uncomfortable. Even so, that didn't stop him from going there and supporting Bokuto. 

Now, you finally could say he was okay. It was peaceful as before. The pain has almost healed. And even today too, Bokuto and Akaashi were enjoying their morning tea as every other day. 

"Could you sleep last night?" Akaashi asked out of concern

"I could, finally" 

Akaashi just thought "good" and took another sip from his tea 

"What was today's flower?" 

"Purple sweetpea, symboliing admiration and respect" Akaashi looked outside the window

"How many time has it been?" 

"Eh?" Akaashi was confused 

"You telling me you respect and admire me. You're always telling me that. I get it already" Bokuto pulled Akaashi's nose that made him groan 

"When did i-" and Akaashi hid his face with his hands

"Are you blushing?" Bokuto chuckled as he removed Akaashi's hands that were hiding his bright red cheeks

When did Akaashi soften up? He wasn't like this before. He seemed unreachable back then unless it came to the flowers he loved so much. 

Seeing Akaashi change like this made his heart flutter. At the sight of Akaashi's cuteness, Bokuto couldn't stop himself from placing a soft kiss on his forehead while holding his wrists so he couldn't hide his face. 

It was then when Akaashi got a even darker shade of red on his face. He eyes were everywhere else but Bokuto. Seeing Akaashi flustered, Bokuto just patted his head and smiled at his cuteness. 

"Didn't know you were this shy" Bokuto said as he was jokingly mocking him

"S-shut up" Akaashi was aware that he was acting like a teenager girl but oh well

What got Akaashi out of that awkward situation was the entrance if this beautiful middle aged woman. 

"Good afternoon" Akaashi greeted the woman and she greeted back

"So I was thinking if you could help me chose flowers" 

"Of course. What's the occasion?" 

"My friend has just given birth to a baby so I wanted to send some flowers" 

"A baby boy or a baby girl?" 

"Baby boy" the woman smiled 

"Oh, I'll make a blue and white bouquet then. Wait just a few minutes'

"Congratulations on the newborn" Bokuto congratulated the woman 

"Thank you."

Akaashi had already chosen flowers for the bouquet. Blue irises and white lilacs. It looked well coordinated and it had a very nice smell. 

"Here ma'am" Akaashi gave the woman the bouqet

"It looks beautiful. Oh, smells good too" the woman smiled and so did Akaashi knowing that the customer was satisfied with it 

The woman exited the flower shop after a sweet goodbye and a smile on her face. 

\----------

The closing time was now 8pm, while it opened at 8am. It was what the owner decided, for unknown reason though. 

When it was 3pm before, Bokuto stayed the whole time there but now he's been going and leaving the shop a few times since he was that close to the flowers shop. 

Bokuto was always there around closing time. It was their routine, Akaashi sending Bokuto home even it wasn't even 5 minutes walk. 

It was like that today too. Akaashi just locked the shop and headed with Bokuto to his house. 

"Hey, Akaashi" Bokuto stopped and after Akaashi turned to him he continued "Let's go somewhere, me and you" 

"Is there somewhere you wanna go?"

"Not really, just wanna spend some more time with you" 

"Oh. Where will we go?" 

"We can just take a walk around streets. Maybe buy something to eat" 

\------

They were walking around for a while now. The sun was about to set too. The sky was flameish red, and the horizon looked like it was on fire. 

"So beautiful, isn't it Akaashi?" Bokuto smiled while looking at the sunset 

"It is, Bokuto-san" Akaashi smiled while looking at the person next to him

"You know Akaashi-" Bokuto turned to Akaashi and got surprised when he caught Akaashi looking at him, but he just smiled and then continued "There's nothing on this world as nature. It's just too great, too amazing. We don't deserve it" 

"That's true" 

All the redness on the horizon has now dissappeared after a while and now all that was left were shades of pink and orange. It was still beautiful to watch. 

Akaashi and Bokuto where now at a small playground, sitting on the swings as there were no kids around. It was silent awhile now. Comfortable silence though. 

"You know Akaashi..." Bokuto started and then paused "Thank you" 

"For what?" 

"For everything you've done for me." Bokuto turned his head to Akaashi

"You don't have to thank me" 

"I have to, and I want to. Your support was probably the biggest factor in keeping myself sane. If it wasn't for you, I really don't know how could I've been. If I don't thank you, I'll be feeling bad. " 

"Even if you didn't thank me it would've been okay, I know it, that inside you're thankful. Also, I didn't do it just for you." Akaashi looked at the sky "I did it for myself too. Because if I didn't keep you sane, I would've gone insane myself. If i wasn't there for you, I would've regretted my whole life. I... I just don't want to see someone who's so important to me suffering" 

Bokuto left out a giggle and then kept a smile on his face. 

"You're important to me too, Akaashi" Bokuto was smiling but as he was looking at some other direction that wasn't Akaashi

Akaashi hesitated but he really was pissed at Bokuto. Yes, Bokuto was smiling for sure. But there in that smile, there was mixed in pain too. 

"Hey, Bokuto-san..." Akaashi grinded his teeth

"Yea?" Bokuto was still not looking in his direction 

"What's stopping you?" 

"From what?" Bokuto finally turned to Akaashi

"From saying 'I love you' "


	9. Purple Sweetpea Part 2

Akaashi hesitated but he really was pissed at Bokuto. Yes, Bokuto was smiling for sure. But there in that smile, there was mixed in pain too. 

"Hey, Bokuto-san..." Akaashi grinded his teeth

"Yea?" Bokuto was still not looking in his direction 

"What's stopping you?" 

"From what?" Bokuto finally turned to Akaashi

"From saying 'I love you' "

Bokuto slightly widened his eyes and parted his lips. Then he turned his eyes away from Akaashi, staring at the night sky full of stars. And before he spoke up, he exhaled.

"Your future." these two words left Bokuto's mouth

"W-what?" Akaashi got confused

"I don't want to steal that from you"

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Akaashi, due to my disorder, I percieve things differently, hallucinations, illusions, delusions....... With no medication I'm a total mess. Do you really wanna be with someone like me?"

Akaashi got angry at those words. 

"Someone like you? What does that even mean? Have I ever looked at you differently? Have I ever treated like you're different than the other people? Did I ever pity you? Did I ever had trouble with you? " 

"I mean no, but-" 

"Koutarou! You're just making excuses. Stop, just stop it" Akaashi was pissed, and he realized that he said Bokuto's first name after he said it which also had him surprised and embarrassed 

"D-did you just call me Koutarou?" Bokuto was amused 

"Yes, I did, so what?" Akaashi pouted and looked sideways 

"I was happy. Thank you" Bokuto smiled brightly 

"Not a big deal" Akaashi tried to hide his flushed face while looking away

Bokuto just chuckled loudly at it. 

"Bokuto-san, don't brush it off. Just tell me the reason" 

"Isn't family a nice thing?" Bokuto faintly smiled while again looking in a direction somewhere far away

And Akaashi exactly knew what was Bokuto going to say. 

"A dad Keiji would be nice, imagine having a little girl and a little boy with a gorgeous woman by your side. It's too pretty. A paradise. Don't you want that?" 

"What is a paradise without you? No... What is the world without you in it?" Akaashi was on the verge of crying 

"Akaashi, maybe you think this way now. But later on, you'll want these things, you will need them. And I don't wanna take away that life from you" Bokuto didn't look at Akaashi not even once while he was speaking 

"Why can't you understand that you're my life....." Akaashi squatted down, tears starting to flow down his face and eyes fixated on the ground

"No no no, Akaashi..... Don't cry please" Bokuto went to him

"T-then don't go saying things that break my heart" Akaashi wiped his tears but they didn't stop from flowing

"I'm sorry, very sorry, Akaashi. Just don't cry."

"Why can't I just love you and you love me?" 

"I can't give you all the things someone else can. You won't be happy with me."

"No. I won't be happy without you." 

"Akaashi..." Bokuto lowered his eyebrows while looking at the crying Akaashi in front of him. It hurt him too 

"Why can't you understand? How much do I have to say for you to understand that I love you? That you're my life?" Akaashi raised his head and stared directly into Bokuto's shining eyes 

"I do understand, and I do love you too. But is that the best for you?" 

"Just. Just shut up" Akaashi reached out his hand and grabbed Bokuto's nape and brought him close to him placing a kiss on his lips

Bokuto froze for a moment, he even thought to move away, but he just gave in at the taste of Akaashi's soft lips that were pulling him in. 

"I love you. I'll always love you and just you, Bokuto Koutarou" Akaashi broke the kiss and cupped Bokuto's cheeks

"I love you too" Bokuto smiled brightly, but now there was no sadness at all in it, pure happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And no, this isn't the end😂 also, it was short because it was part 2, next chapter will be longer. Oh and also, I'm on Tumblr as haikyuu-lxve so there you can ask me questions about the fic, if you have any though.


	10. Special chapter

17th may, saturday

Akaashi this morning too woke up from the alarm going off exactly at 7am. He splashed some water on his face to wake him up completely and then neatly brushed his teeth. 

Remembering yesterday he smiled to himself. He and Bokuto, no, Koutarou, were together now. It warmed Akaashi's heart. 

Though he isn't sure when he fell in love with him. Was it when he first saw him? No, he doesn't thinks so. Or when he caressed the golden eyed man's cold as ice hands? Maybe. Then Akaashi realized, it was when his heart ached for Bokuto the first time. When the fear of loosing him overtook everything else. It was that simple. 

\-----

Nevertheless when it was, mornings were always chilly. That's why Akaashi always wore coats in the morning. 

A little before 8am he arrived at the flower shop, unlocked it and rolled his sleeves up so he could clean it up a little. And then his favorite, taking care of the flowers. 

Nobody comes at this time except Bokuto who knows where he can find him, so Akaashi allowed himself to get lost in taking care of the flowers which he adored. 

Hearing the door open and thinking it was Bokuto, he hurried over to the counter excited. Which led to disappointment. It wasn't Bokuto. 

But oh well, it was still a customer. 

"Good morning" it was a young man 

"Good morning. What can I help you with?" 

"A bouquet of red roses please" 

"Sure" Akaashi said and went to get the roses

Getting them together in a bouquet he wrapped them in a paper. Then went back to the customer and gave it to him. After the man paid he said goodbye and left the flower shop.

Checking the time, it was 8.48am. And Bokuto still wasn't there. Akaashi was getting worried. Not being patient anymore he wore his coat, locked the shop and went to Bokuto's house. 

The door was opened by Bokuto's father. Visiting Bokuto wasn't that big of a deal until today, when they've started dating. He always visited like a close friend, but now he's a boyfriend. It felt awkward but Akaashi needed to get rid off it. 

"Good morning sir. Is Bokuto here?" Akaashi smiled, which somewhat looked fake from the awkwardness

"Yes, he's in his room, he's sleeping" 

Huh, sleeping? He's actually sleeping well? Akaashi was surprised because Bokuto hardly slept peacefully as he always had insomnia. Akaashi left out a sigh of relief and smiled softly. He was glad. 

"Then, I shouldn't disturb his sleep. I'll leave." Akaashi said

"You can wait for him to wake up in his room though, if you want. Koutarou will surely be happy if he sees your face first thing in the morning" 

The last line made Akaashi unexpectedly happy. He thought that it would be nice seeing Bokuto with half open eyes and bedhair. That way, he stayed to wait for Bokuto to wake up. 

\----------

Bokuto was sleeping like a baby, wrapped in his blanket. Akaashi slowly went over to his bed and caressed Bokuto's face, removed the hair strands that were covering Bokuto's face and stared at him in awe, as he was the most beautiful things in this world, and it really was, for Akaashi. 

It was not long after when Bokuto started moving around and woke up. With narrow eyes he looked at Akaashi. He was confused and surprised. But then smiled in the sweetest way that made Akaashi chuckle. 

Akaashi losing from Bokuto's cuteness, moved closer to Bokuto and placed a soft kiss on his forehead which followed with a sweet "Good morning, Koutaro" 

"Best morning" Bokuto smiled and Akaashi chuckled 

"How was your sleep?" Akaashi asked 

"The best one I've had in a while" 

"I'm glad you were able to sleep well" 

"Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating in so long. And another apology for not updating a full chapter but I had no inspiration nor motivation 


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